grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
