After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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