I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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