He had one of those small greek statue penises
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
