Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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