Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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