dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
