So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
