sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
