Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
