I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize