Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
