Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize