i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
