Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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