also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
