I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
