I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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