thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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