i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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