Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
