Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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