Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
