Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
