Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
