Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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