I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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