there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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