At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize