Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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