you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
