What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
