we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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