i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
