If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
