Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize