I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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