I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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