The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
