you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
