in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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