My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
