its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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