Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
