Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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