it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
