It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
