well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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