Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
