I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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