How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
