Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
