Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
