I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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