Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My friends, they love my intelligence
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
