what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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