I will die if light touches me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
