hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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