so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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