ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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