I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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