I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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